Brad Guzan is leaving Villa, hooligans on the rise and the Daily Mail has a brilliant idea
Daily Mail’s Rob Shepherd launchs a new transfer rumour (bull**it) column
Headline: Balotelli may join Suarez at Anfield…why Defoe could end up at Newcastle and Hoddle’s ambitions to manage England again
Spiel: Welcome to Sportsmail’s brilliant weekly column that gives you access to the secrets of the football world. Each week on MailOnline, ROB SHEPHERD will deliver the latest stunning stories, whispers and intrigue from football’s corridors of power… plus a dose of mischief. This week, could Mario Balotelli be tempted by a move to Liverpool?
1. The equation is thus: When the transfer window is open, the Daily Mail (and other newspapers) have an open license to make up transfer rumours. Rumours = readers =advertising clicks = money for newspapers. So what happens when the transfer window closes? Yes, the Daily Mail loses money. Solution? Lets pretend the window is still open and make up rumours regardless with a ‘brilliant’ weekly column.
2. Rob’s going to deliver ‘stunning stories’, ‘whispers’, intrigue’, ‘mischief’. Media Muppet Watch can abbreviate all these words into one – bulls**t. ‘A brilliant weekly column of bulls**t’. Now, that sounds much more distinct, accurate and honest.
3. Balotelli joining Suarez? Maybe in hell, but not at Liverpool. Liverpool have had enough of problem players to last a life time.
4. Defoe could end up at Newcastle? I see we’ve progressed from the bi-monthly ‘Defoe to Villa’ transfer stories.
5. Hoddle’s ambitions to manage England again? Oh f**k off!
Media Muppet Score: 7/10 (Maybe it’s a satirical column, so lets not be too harsh)
Boom! Hooligans are on the rise according to Tom McTague of the Daily Mirror
Spiel: Violence and boozed-up thuggery make up the bulk of 2,456 match-day arrests last season and there were 589 new banning orders. The picture caption of a fireball reads: ‘Clash: There has been a steep rise in arrests for pyrotechnics, like these in Greece’.
Ben Jefferson of The Daily Express reckons Brad Guzan is leaving Villa for Arsenal
Headline: Arsenal eyeing Aston Villa keeper Brad Guzan
Spiel: ARSENAL are tracking Aston Villa’s American goalkeeper Brad Guzan. According to the official website of Major League Soccer, mlssoccer.com, Arsenal scouts have been sent to watch 29-year-old Guzan in action on at least two occasions since that game.