media muppet transfer rumours

 

Delph out. Griffiths in. And the Daily Mail needs to go back to school

 

 

We’ve already dished up one Media Muppets column this week, but after seeing this Fabian Delph story with transfer deadline day looming, we thought it was too good to miss out on serving up a double-dose this week. UTV

 

James Curtis @ Labrokes Website

 

Headline:

Pardew could turn towards Villa star as Grenier deal collapses

 

Spiel:

Newcastle United could turn to Aston Villa midfielder Fabian Delph to fill the void left by Yohan Cabaye’s departure to PSG after being frustrated in their attempts to land Lyon’s Clement Grenier.

With the transfer window deadline looming ever larger Pardew may be tempted to revisit an old Newcastle target in Delph after the club attempted to land the 24-year-old from Leeds.

Newcastle missed out then, with the Villans able to offer the Englishman more first team opportunities, but with a Cabaye-shaped hole in the Magpies’ squad now could be the time to make a move.

The Magpies would obtain a player with five Premier League campaigns under his belt and with his best year’s ahead of him, while Delph would increase his chances of playing in continental competitions and give his international chances a boost at the same time.

 

Evaluation:

1. Hahahahaha. This isn’t Football Manager the computer game, you know. This is the real world.

2.  Old Newcastle target. Very old, coming up to five-years now. What. A. Tenuous. Link.

3. I’m sure Delph would repay Villa for babysitting him through a couple of serious injuries, by just leaving a club he’s finally beginning to blossom at, to then play at a club that are a couple of places above Villa in the league at the moment.

4. ‘Would increase his chances of playing in continental competitions?’ What competitions are those? The Champion’s League? It’s not going to happen for Newcastle. The Europa League? It’s not going to happen for Newcastle…plus, why would Delph uproot his settled life to play in the pointless Europa League for a few games next season?

5. This is a pretty desperate article just to offer punters a 22/1 price of Newcastle finishing in the top six. Here’s some odds for you: Chances of Delph going to Newcastle – 5,000,000/1

Media Muppet Score: 10/10

 

Jamie Sanderson @ The Metro

 

Headline:

Aston Villa make enquiry into signing Wolves sensation Leigh Griffiths

 

media muppets

 

Spiel:

Lambert is desperate to add to his forward options before the close of the transfer window, despite already adding Grant Holt from Wigan on-loan.

He has held talks with Barcelona over a deal for talented teenager Jean Marie Dongou, but negotiations have stalled, and attention has turned to Griffiths.

Celtic and Swansea have already confirmed their interest in the 23-year-old, but Villa have asked neighbours Wolves to name their price.

 

Evaluation:

1.Desperate to add to his forward options? How many more does he need? Holt came in to cover Kozák’s injury. End of story. Make up some midfield rumours, Sonny Jim.
2. Griffiths off-the-field antics would make him a no-no signing for Lambert. I don’t want to throw him under the bus, but just look at him in the picture above.

3. Yep, that’s the natural progression of looking for players…first you call Barcelona, if they haven’t got anybody available, you then pick up the phone to Wolves.

4. I like the picture of our intrepid reporter. It’s like he has a shocked expression from the fact his articles are actually getting published!

5.  If Villa EVER asked Wolves to name their price, it would be so they could hang-up and start wetting themselves laughing.

 

Media Muppet Score: 8/10

 

Rob Brennan @ The Daily Mail

 

Headline:

 

 media muppets maths

 

Spiel:

 

Villa will pay £450,000 plus VAT immediately, with an additional; figure of up to £500,000 payable on appearances plus a further £225,000 should Steer go on to represent England.

 

Evaluation:

1. You do the maths!  Try £1,175,000 as a total.

2. The Daily Fail is about as good at maths as it is trying to be the moral compass of middle England.

Media Muppet Score: 10/10

If you’ve spotted an article that is just lazy journalism or worse, and perfect for Media Muppets then leave the link in the comments below or send it to us via twitter @oldmansaid.

 

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6 COMMENTS

  1. Oh Newcastle couldn’t offer him first team oppotunities ? This wasn’t when we were chasing a top 4 finish could it ?

    Would Delph really want to go to a club that for one is much colder, two isn’t a 1.5 hour drive to London, and three were relegated not so long ago along with not able to hold onto their best players.

    While Villa on the other hand can hold onto Benteke even while fighting off relegation and sticking through him while he has his off days.

    We’ve done so much for Delph and he respects the club and the fans, He is no Stewart Downing.

  2. Jerdis no – but what may happen, if Delph gets a callup pre World Cup, is that it will be intimated in no uncertain terms, that if he moves his chances of more calls will greatly increase (even if not this summer perhaps). The problem with The Project, is that whilst it may make perfect $en$e on paper (or not), the minute you have produced players good enough to keep you in the EPL for the next 3-5 years, they will want to do one for more cash and prospects. If Guzan gets a game in he summer, same concern.

  3. Hahah first time ive seen a media muppets article, good read. Cant stand the media, 90% are clueless.

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