Gabriel Agbonlahor finds a way to attract girls, in particular, Louis Tomlinson fans
Lets face it, Gabriel Agbonlahor was never going to get the attention of prepubescent girls with his looks, but taking part in Stiliyan Petrov’s charity game in front of over 60,000 at Celtic Park, he found the perfect way to get their attention…
It was an undoubted glorious and emotional day at Celtic Park as tribute was payed to Stiliyan Petrov in epic style. Bebatov scored a hat-trick as a Stiliyan XI beat a Celtic XI 5-3, in a game notable for both Petrov playing and also a fine performance by Paul Lambert in the middle of the park.
At first, MOMS put the occasional excitable shrieks of girls in the crowd down to the fact that the Villa boss was playing and wearing shorts. Alas not. The bubbling hormones were down to the appearance of One Direction singer Louis Tomlinson, who was there to help get bums on seats for the game, as one of the several celebs that turned up.
Tomlinson who signed for Doncaster Rovers in the aid of children’s hospice, soon learnt the hard way that football is a little bit different from prancing around in front of teenage girls. He looked a bit frail to be a football player to be honest, which was later proven when Gabriel Agbonlahor almost snapped him in half.
There was no malicious intent by Gabby, just a 50-50 challenge, that was typical of what had been a competitive and feisty game for a friendly. The singer was visibly shaken and had to leave with a knee injury.
Tomlinson was then seen seconds later losing his remaining macho cred, vomiting his guts up on the sideline.
Until today, no teen girl would have given Gabby a second-look, suddenly he seemed to have their undivided attention. One Direction fans on Twitter went after any Twitter account that had the Villa forward’s name on it (unfortunately and probably lucky for them, he doesn’t have a Twitter account).
Girls that looked between 10 and 15 were suddenly getting all gangsta on Gabby.
“This guy hurt Louis knee. I shall hurt your face. I better hear that you apologized or I will find you, and I will kill you,” said a One Direction fan called Ella.
Ella might not have had her period yet, but it sounds like she’s old enough to own a gun or at least pay for a Hit Man.
She also tweeted a time limit to her death threat in the name of avenging Louis Tomlinson:
“That other footballer will die within 7 days. I will make it my mission to see him dead.”
It seems her Twitter account was the first to get killed after the teen suddenly found her account address and Twitter quotes on the Daily Mirror and other newspaper websites. It now looks like either her parents or Twitter have since closed her account down.
Despite other One Direction fans threatening to also chop Gabby’s balls off for what he did to their beloved Louis Tomlinson, we confess, we were joking with the Gabby going into hiding headline. He has nothing to fear, as I’m sure any teenage girl would be scared of Agbonlahor, if they came face-to-face with him. Secondly, the One Direction hordes would have to get through ranks of Villa supporters first. Not going to happen.
The only real concern for Villa supporters regarding Agbonlahor is, will the Villa forward be able to stop laughing about these silly girl’s threats in time to concentrate on the job at hand against Newcastle next week?
Until then, on behalf of all music lovers, nice one Gabby son! UTV
A Venglos View is a satirical (and sometimes surreal) look at Villa. Check out other Venglos Views here
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