Michy Batshuayi & Vidic Incoming (LOL) and the Mistaken Identity of Ayew

Media Muppets returns with the worst three recent examples of press muppetry...

It’s been a few months since the last Media Muppets column. No, it’s not because there hasn’t been anything to write about, quite the opposite, there’s been so much. MOMS would need a dedicated writer just to focus on Media Muppets just to keep up.

It’s still sad to see other blogs and website just blindly regurgitating seriously naff stories as clickbait without giving them any due thought. There’s zero respect for their readership and little self-respect on the writer’s part. Any ‘writer’ fanning the flames on naff rumours won’t make it as a proper journalist.

Below there’s the classic ‘Villa in for player who is priced way beyond what everyone knows is there spending limit’ story, a traditional Sun picture desk balls-up and just one of those stories where nobody actually thinks, ‘Would the Villa manager really go for that player?’

Don’t get me started on any idiots that would write a ‘Benteke back to Villa on loan’ story. Christian Benteke was desperately trying to engineer a move from a Villa team going nowhere, for a couple of seasons. Why on earth would he go back to a Villa team going straight to the Championship?

He’s just booked himself a trip to Wembley and no doubt will be part of the Klopp revolution. So, please cut the cr*p.

PS – If you click on a HITC clickbait story link on Newsnow, do yourself a favour and punch yourself in the face. You’ve been suckered. Their headlines are shocking.


The Daily Express (and others)


Man Utd, Liverpool, West Ham and Aston Villa locked in £25m striker battle (Michy Batshuayi)


The Belgian has been the subject of interest from a host of clubs following his impressive performances for the Ligue 1 outfit this term. 

Batshuayi has netted 15 times in all competitions for Marseille this season that has led Arsenal, Tottenham and Newcastle to express interest.

But according to the Daily Mail, Manchester United, Liverpool, West Ham and Aston Villa are the latest clubs to have upped their pursuit of the hitman.

The report claims all four clubs had scouts present in Marseille’s 1-1 draw with Lyon on Sunday. 

The 22-year-old played the full 90 minutes for the away side, but failed to find the net.

Reports have recently emerged that the Hammers have made a £20million bid for the striker. But the Mail claim Marseille want closer to £25m for their star striker.


1.Track back to the start of January and the headlines in newspapers were of a race between Newcastle and Spurs for the French league striker, as the Express alludes to here. It does seem the Mail and Express have just picked some clubs at random to make up fresh clickbait headlines. It’s a classic tactic of recycling stories on players and just changing the names of the teams ‘interested’ to attract a new audience to your BS story.

2. Why mention Villa? Well, Rémi Garde was at the match between Lyon and Marseille, but do you really think he’s flown to France with £20m+ burning a hole in his back pocket? Garde used to manage Lyon, so no doubt he’s always welcomed there and there’s another 21 players that he could be ruling an eye over.

3. Why don’t these same journalists who write the ‘Villa’s Tom Fox and Steve Hollis say no  big money will be spent in this transfer window’ stories, put two and two together and work out, Aston Villa will NOT be paying £20m on a striker and funding the wages of such a player. They are dead certs for relegation, so why would they? What logic are these journalists running on? Ah, I forgot – clickbait logic.

4. Remember the previous £20 million Villa rumour? When Tim Sherwood was supposedly plotting an ‘audacious move’ for £20m-rated Monaco defender Aymen Abdennour. I rest my case.

Media Muppets Rating: 9/10


The Sun


Man with Ban…Villa’s Jordan Ayew suspended


Just look at the below picture…

jordan ayew traore racism


1. The awkward moment when you’re basically saying all black people look alike… that’s not Jordan Ayew, it’s Adama Traore you pillocks.

2. This is not the first time Media Muppets has reported such balls ups on naming players by newspaper picture desks.

3. I think the Daily Mirror also made the same Ayew/Traore mistake in their online edition.There’s no excuse. Know your players!

Media Muppets Rating: 10/10


Pretty much every media outlet

Headline (example)

Manchester United legend Nemanja Vidic in talks over Aston Villa transfer


‘Villa are keen to snap him up and add some depth to their squad as they look to mount a late escape from the relegation zone’ – The Metro

‘Villa want a leader and have been struggling to sign a centre-back with Lamine Sane of Bordeaux leaning towards a move to Swansea. 

Joelon Lescott also has interest from Chinese clubs and LA Galaxy.

Villa want to ensure the Serbia international is fit as his last competitive game was against Juventus in May last year.’ – Daily Mail


1. He hasn’t played since May. There’s a reason his Inter Milan contract was terminated by mutual consent, it’s something to do with the fact that a 34-years-old injury-prone Vidic is  knackered in terms of top level football. Playing for the bottom of the league’s defence is going to be one of the more demanding centre-back roles in the Premier League, so does Vidic seem like he fits the job description? Nah.

2. If Lescott decided to go to Los Angeles, China, India, Japan, Afghanistan or wherever else, then there is some sense for a like-for-like old-guard replacement, but it doesn’t look like Lescott is moving anywhere at the moment.

3. Why would Vidic come to Villa? There’s no actual quotes that he yearns a return to the Premier League. He’s already bagged a ton of cash from the league and played at the highest level winning everything with Manchester United, so it’s next stop #lifestyle, if he is to play on, No doubt something like the MLS might be more appealing and logical for him.

Media Muppets Rating: 9/10

If you’ve spotted an article that is just lazy journalism or worse, and perfect for Media Muppets then leave the link in the comments below, DM us on facebook or send it to us via Twitter.